[New] Hazel Full Season2023š»šS1.E5 ā Dorothyās New Clientš»šHazel Full Episodes
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You made donāt forget to scrub your teeth do you think this Southern fell is the type that appreciate my chocolate sule chocolate sule would be wonderful that sounds like just a thing you see living as he does at the Caron Hotel Mr suin is used to the finest of foods and
Impeccable service what about an angel food cake and ice cream well whicheverās easier I thought we just settled in the chocolate sule easy aināt the question you know you got to be in the right mood to make a chocolate sule whatās mood got to do with it whatās mood Got to Do With
It Mr B making a chocolate Soule is just exactly like writing a poem you wouldnāt expect Edgar a guest to write a poem without being in the mood do you well I would if I was paying by the month you just donāt understand the autistic temperament oh Dar donāt blow a gasket
Mr be you want a chocolate sule Iāll do my best to make one but I think I better make an angel food cake too you know just to be on the safe side Carol time to go I wonder what it would be like to have a maid who didnāt have a voice like
An aage siren darling sheās not that loud no well everyone named Harold within 5 miles will be headed this way bye mom goodbye Dad there goes the first one did your ham and eggs I cut up the meat on account of your hand oh thank
You Hazel yeah and be sure and take your pill whatās that thatās calcium on account of you got this brittle bone condition I have everybody gets as they get older I am not quite decrepit yet and I do not have a brittle bone condition be sure that he takes it wonāt
You Missy and never mind the dishes Iāll do them after the marke and just leave them on the table oh thatās Harold waiting out in the car wouldnāt you think heād realize that you need your peace and quiet take your pill darling hurry Hazel hold your hores sport You see the point is Mr Southerland is not used to servants who talk politics while theyāre serving wait a minute she isnāt she isnāt taking the station wagon is she yes she always takes the wagon to go shopping what difference does it make no the souland papers on the back seat
And Iāve got to leave in 10 minutes All I got to go to Robinson for the meat it may cost a little more but you get less fat and not so much thumb whatās this Hazel uh-oh whatās the matter weāve been carrying your dadās legal papers around all this time heās going to be
Mad oh no people donāt get mad Harold dogs get mad they growl and froth at the mouth youāre right we better get word to your dad tell them weāre on the Way Iām terribly sorry to hold you up Mr suland I know youāre anxious to get out of the course all right give me a chance to get my swing into the groove besides when your wife phoned didnāt she say the papers were on the way yes sir they should be here any
Minute oh I donāt know whatās happened to my game lately Iāve develop quite a slice well if you donāt mind a suggestion no suggestions I take my golf lessons from the pro Mr B and Mr B here Pap oh Hazel thank you thank you Mrs
Sule and this is Hazel she works for me oh not in his office Iām a domestic engineer how do you doing Iām fine thanks how are you fine I hear youāre coming to the house for dinner he looks as if he could stand a little home cooking goodbye Hazel thank you very
Much thank you hey your grips all wrong I beg your pardon please youāll slice every time using that grip why you try my grip you see you take this little Pinky and this little Pinky and you put this little pinky right here and this little pinkyy right there and there you
Are so would you please give Mr suin back his Club oh sure nice meeting you Mr suin thank you donāt forget that grip this little Pinky and this little pinky works every time thank you goodbye if thereās one thing I donāt need itās an Amer to tell me my grip is
Wrong youāll forgive her when you taste her chocolate sule chocolate sule can she really make a decent chocolate sule sheer Ambrosia well if thatās the truth Iād forgive her almost anything I havenāt had a good sule since I was in Paris two years [Applause] ago Oh 20 minutes to go well better to be safe then sorry here are four pennies Iāll Hold You cone there we are one two three four there we go why settle when we can win because itāll cost you more to fight it than to settle that sets a bad precedent all
Right Mr suland youāre the doctor would expect you for dinner date right and Iām looking forward to that sule goodbye Baxter bye Mr s how did she say that went this little Pinky and that little pinky hey that felt pretty good we go for right on the swim no
Harold I got to get home in a hurry to have everything perfect for Mr snās dinner hey thereās a ticket on the windshield oh no that aināt a ticket Harold thatās some kind of an ad we was only in there about 10 or 15 minutes for Peteās sake it is a
Ticket r f up soās my Dand Iām going to fight this all the way up to the Supreme Court Iāve been driving for 27 years and this is the first time I ever got a parking ticket if I was guilly I wouldnāt mind saying so judge as sure as Iām standing
Here I wasnāt in that meat market more than hold your horses my mouth is fairly watering for that chocolate sule I was telling George earlier the last good sulle I had was in Paris 2 years ago two years is a long time to wait I hope it
Wonāt be much longer well waiting for the good things in life only makes them the more enjoyable well here we are your coffee take and ice cream coming up ice cream I donāt know what happened to the sule but her cakes are delicious well Iām sure they are but I never eat
Dessert unless itās something special like like chocolate sule uh would you care for some brand in your coffee yes thank you really excuse me Iāll get some Iāve waited two whole years for the sule I mean Hazel this morning at breakfast I distinctly told you to have chocolate
Soule and I said I would if I could and I couldnāt look you canāt say I didnāt try but itās like I told you Mr be you got to be in the right mood to make a sule you got to treat those egg whites like they was
Primadana you got to tease them and coax them and handle them with TLC with what 10 to love care and after I got that ticket I was so mad I just beat The Living Daylights out of the wait a minute take thatās no way to make a nice fluffy
Hazel do you mean to tell me that youāre making all this fuss over a $2 parking ticket youāre done tooting well thereās nothing to worry about Iāll take care of it for you you will Mr be a big lawyer like you well of course oh gee I sure appreciate
Course I couldnāt pay the prices you charge J you donāt have to pay me a thing now to The Branding oh boy if I know you was behind me when I made that twole it would have been a doozy well thereās nothing we can do about it now
Oh the hector r i could whip up another one in about an hour do you think Mr suin would wait that long well I donāt know why not heās already waited 2 years beat it Mr be I got work to do itās just delicious oh Hazel if you ever get tired
Of working for the backers just let me know we couldnāt get along without Hazel life just wouldnāt be the same without Hazel oh Mrs Baxter youāre a c thanks again for a lovely evening good night Mrs Baxter hazel good night Geor good night so glad you could come yeah just drop in
Anytime heās a real nice fellow when you get to know him that shows you shouldnāt go by First Impressions I should have know that from you thatās been one of the guiding principles all my life life no I didnāt mean that Mr B when I first
Met you I thought you were kind of crabby and stuck up you know but after I got to know you I saw you had a heart as big as all Outdoors thank you very much hael so why donāt we go in the living room and start working on my case huh
What case my ticket I got a parking ticket can you imagine that Mr beās going to handle it for me oh thatās nice of you Joy hell now Hazel itās not I better tell you how it happened while I still have it fresh in my mind you see
How and have to explain how it happened just let me handle it well how are you going to defend me if you donāt know what happened well Hazel you donāt have to be defended Iāll just have my secretary mail in the $2 mail in the $2
I donāt need a lawyer for that well Hazel you donāt expect me to go into a courtroom for a $2 parking ticket I was counting on it now Hazel and Mr Baxter says heāll act as your attorney he will wonāt you George Dorthy all right Hazel now letās handle
This very businesslike now you accept me as your attorney I do do you accept me as your client I do sounds like weāre getting married donāt you please now you want me to go before the judge and present your side of the case right right very simple to do now for the
Moment weāll assume that youāre innocent of the charge assume Iām as innocent as a newborn bab Hazel I believe you but as your attorney I advise you to plead guilty what and how does the defendant plead she pleads not guilty or honor innocent as a newborn babe pure as the
Driven counselor does your client wish to be tried before a judge or a jury a judge a jury your honor your honor may I confer with my client thatās a splendid idea counselor Iām surprised you didnāt think of it earlier the Constitution Article six says the accused should enjoy the
Privilege of a speedy and public Tru yes sir Hazel I feel you should get yourself another attorney ah Mr B I didnāt mean to hurt your feelings my feelings have nothing to do with it the point is an attorney cannot properly represent a client who will not take his advice now
In your best interest heās my lawyer your honor whatever he says goes double with me very well uh 10:00 Monday the 22nd of this month division 12 thank you yor division 12 here you mean youāre going to try the case your honor I wouldnāt miss it now this ticket was written at
11:35 now I didnāt leave you and Mr Southerland until 10:30 and it takes 45 minutes to drive into town from the country club so I couldnāt have got there before 11:15 that means I was in the meat market for 20 minutes well can we get the butcher to substantiate that
I founded him he was busy that morning he remembers Hazel was there but he couldnāt swear when she came in or how long she was in the store heās awfully sorry Hazel Mr suland could testify that it was close to 10:30 when you left sure
He could if heād be willing to take the time in a case involving a $2 parking ticket oh sure he will well heās not the easiest person in the world to get along with but well I suppose I could ask him I already did oh by the way Mr
Southernās been having good luck with that grip I taught him why donāt you try it sometime Mr be you know when your hand gets better a prosecution ready ready your honor defense ready willing able and not guilty your honor proceed Mr prosecutor will officer Dietrich take the stand
Please I wish Mr suin had get here donāt worry I told him we wouldnāt get to him until around 11: heās probably out the golf course and Did You observe anything else in regard to this vehicle yes sir parking meter with the red flag up and
Did you take any action as a result of this observation yes sir I wrote out a ticket I object to what to his given me a ticket Iām sorry your honor proceed um no further questions your honor your a witness counselor now that officer youāve testified that the red flag was up do
You have any proof of this any other Witnesses no sir sure he has me and Harold we both saw it did yeah was sticking up like a sore thumb your honor I ask that these remarks from my client be stricken from the record she is not
On her oath and cannot be forced to testify against herself it will be stricken I donāt mind testifying Iām only telling the truth Miss Burke yes sir letās give your attorney a Fighting Chance shall we proceed counselor thank you your honor we aināt doing so good I wish Mr Southerland had get
Here yes Daddy sir Mel gave me the four pennies and I put them in the slot and pull down the lever every single time oh I just wish I had a picture of that little angel sitting up there on the S now Harold think very carefully did
You notice whether the the red flag was showing no sir I mean yes sir I mean yes sir I noticed and no sir it wasnāt I trust your honor was able to understand that testimony proceed counselor no further questions your honor your witness donāt be scared Harold just tell
The truth hael will you please let me do the talking boy is this a manās World now uh Harold do you know that to tell a lie in this courtroom would be a great sin yes sir helzel says thereās only one place where itās all right to lie oh so Hazel says itās all right to lie sometimes does she not sometimes in one
Place and where might that be if you please in bed my mama used to say that now Harold are you absolutely sure that you didnāt put some of those pennies in your pocket instead of in the meter yes sir hael says thereās only one place where itās all right to steal
Never mind thatāll be all you may step down um Harold and where might that be in baseball I thought that one up myself your honor I wish to call officer Dietrich back to the stand youāre still under oath officer did I do all right Hazel you were swells SP itās in the bag
Officer will you tell the court what measures if any are taken to ensure the accuracy of the parking meters in this city yes sir the city has a crew of inspectors that go around periodically to see that theyāre working all right do you have a record of the last regular
Checkup on the parking meters in the 1600 block near Main and UK yes sir 8:00 in the evening on the 11th of this month 3 days before I placed a parking violation on the C driven by the defendant a lot can happen in 3 days pleas sorry your H was any subsequent
Inspection made yes sir just a few minutes ago a few minutes ago yes sir itās just around the corner from here at the request of the city prosecutor officer harrian and I checked it out ourselves and what did you find it worked perfectly your honor oh oh boy there goes the ball game
You wish to cross-examine counselor hold on a moment I want that commotion stopped Itās upsetting the Dignity of this CT itās Jackhammer J theyāre tearing up the sidewalk outside well tell them to Quit ah donāt feel bad Mr B you did your best everybodyās got a right to strike out once in a while boy them things nearly shake the bones out of your skin I nearly got killed by one of those jackhammers the other day I was back in
The cold storage picking out a nice roast for Mr Southerland and they came and and started to tear up more payment out in front of the store Iām done if I didnāt almost get bean by a side of beef hey so wait a minute you mean in
The meat market sure where else would I find a side of be your honor may I ask if this court be recessed briefly and that it be reconvened at the scene of the alleged violation for what purpose counselor the defense is in possession of new evidence your honor which can only properly be
Presented on that site granted oh gee this is more exciting than them trials on TV this court is in recess it will reconvene at the corner of uclid and M in 15 minutes well Iām here Baxter whatās going on how soon can you get me on the stand weāre
Recessing and reconvening at the parking meter site well how soon will you be through with me I I canāt sit around here all day waiting to testify on a $2 parking case that youāre sure to lose Iām sorry Mr Southerland but if I can prove what I think happened we may not
Need your testimony after all well just remember Baxter youāre not going to look very good with my people for losing a silly case like this weāll see never bet on a b game until itās over why donāt you stick around and see what trick Mr beās up to Iāll bet itās a Doozy now with the course permission we will reconstruct the defendant actions as you can see officer Dietrick has adjusted the meter to co assign with the testimony 20 minutes parking time still allowed now then Hazel will you please show us exactly what happened oh sure come on weāll show
Them Harold and me got out of the car we were eating ice cream Kong and then I took four pennies out of my change place oh I donāt have any change I donāt have any pay you back later only [Laughter] Three thanks Jud and I gave him to Harold and he put him in the meeting one 2 3 4 thatās exactly the way it looked at 11:15 and then what happened then we went into the store and a few minutes later Along Came this Jackhammer operator start using it right Here stop That your honor I would like to call the Courtās attention to this parking meter well Iāll be a monkeyās uncle is there anything you wish to say uh not in public your honor no the court finds the defendant not guil thank you your honor and believe me
The next time you come up for reelection you can count on my vote thank you part to J well Iām going to go home and fix this a special lunch for celebrating come on Mr s why donāt you come along weād love to have you well in that case
Fine we sure got ourselves some SW legal legal aināt we I should say we have that was a good example of deductive reason oh youāre Dar toting Mr beās almost the greatest deductive since Sherlock H whoās the G itās everybodyās bow itās Hazel sheās the one can make the sun begin toow
Ma the gr itās worth their while to stop and watch that smile ha hael ha B Hazel this has been a screen gems Film Production from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia pictures about that corner of my living room yeah and you should have taken their advice Miss BN itās like going to
The doctor and then not taking medicine because it has a bad taste no I didnāt mean that I know what you mean as and I agree with you well if you donāt care for a love seat in that difficult Corner how about a a desk if you could find me
A wonderful old antique desk Iād love it I know just the desk have you been in the pebody Mansion about 35 mil south of town well old Mr Peabody left a fabulous collection of antiques and the Estates being liquidated hot dog they got a desk for Miss BN it is the most beautiful
Elegant little French desk youāve ever seen it looks like a table but it has drawers itās really a desk tell me I went to the house last week and oh itās an Aladdinās cave Iāve never seen such fabulous treasure say do they have a paper we with a snowstorm in It hi Mr be I heard you drive up evening Hazel hereās the salad oil you ask me to get thanks Miss beās in there shining with Miss Balwin thank you hello dear hi Peggy hi darling George do you know you have the most wonderful wife in the world I certainly do every
Day and every way sheās getting better and better oh I donāt mean that when she was decorating the house she kept saying thatās what you need in that corner thatās exactly what that corner needs oh not your corner our Corner youāve been in our house you know
The corner itās the corner right after you turn the corner from the other room oh that one for a moment I didnāt know what youāre talking about Iāll go tomorrow and make the offer oh I wish I could go with you but tomorrowās my Red Cross day promise me though if
Anyone makes a higher offer youāll out bid them bid donāt you worry Peggy that desk is yours I can hardly wait till you see it itās positively ancient itās covered with wormholes has those lovely bone legs well you look at that desk you say thatās Peggy Baldwin
Oh do I influence Hazel or does she influence me Hazel I have to talk to you oh hi Mr be say you donāt look so good I better fix something Bland for your dinner if your stomachās acting up itās not my stomach thatās acting up itās my wife you know
What sheās going to do tomorrow sheās going to buy a desk yeah I know Hazel sheās going to buy that desk at an auction an auction are you sure well where else do they make bids and you know what happens every time she goes to
One of those things sure I do she comes home with a whole bunch of stuff I have to dust polish and glue together sheās been like that ever since she was a little girl thereās something about auctions that makes her lose all her marbles donāt tell me I know she buys up
Everything with the auctioneerās gavel no youāre wrong there Mr B we got the gavel and donāt make a bad Nutcracker though you know if I was you Iād go with her so she wonāt buy a whole lot more junk oh no you ought to go with her
Tomorrow to keep her from buying a lot of junk why me well because Iām in the finals of the bridge tournament at the club besides if I go with us she might talk me into something oh Mr B youāre asking me to to poke my nose into
Something that aināt none of my business now when has that bothered you before for somebody that wants a favor you aināt being too diplomatic now for someone whoās going to have to wash it polish it and glue it together youāre not being you talk me into it Mr B when
You put it on a practical bases like that how can I refuse now be sure and call me before I leave for the club and let me know what happens itās a little difficult to relax with something like bankruptcy hanging over my head oh Mr B
Now if youāll just sign here please Mrs backers yes now this desk is to go to Mrs Baldwin C hereās the address oh yes thank you Iāll just copy that off on the delivery order oh Hazel isnāt this the most beautiful thing youāve ever seen yeah feel like we wormholes I got
Nothing to gang them that much less wood to polish canāt you just see her sitting there who Madame pomidor Marie Anette aināt she the one that lost her head yes oh that reminds me I got a phone call to make Missy I thought this was going to
Be an auction oh most of these pieces are going to a museum a few of the less historical ones are being sold to interior decorators oh here you are Mr Baxter Mr ber I know that none of the statuaries for sale but Iād like to look
At it why of course itās around and back in the garden thank you excuse me uh is there a phone around here yes just inside the door to the left oh thanks thatās a real pushy piano itās the last thing we got to lug out of here today yeah I think so Iām
Sure glad to hear that hello you got nothing to worry about cuz it turned out not to be be an auction after all yeah I knew youād be pleased she bought a swell wormy desk for Mrs Baldwin and now weāre just about to take off oh oh youāre still out there
Look on your way back if you pass any of those roadside stands I know selling sweet corn get some you sure like corn Mr be maybe thatās why your jokes are oh I was just kidding see you later [Applause] here are the keys would you get the car please oh sure Missy Oh Oh well now if you get that open weāll be on our way missy now weāre away from the peab body place I can tell you Mr B thought it was an auction you know how nuts you go at auctions I had to come along to see you didnāt lose your head canāt you
Get it open Iām trying to open it well for Pete sake donāt snap my head off sorry Hazel Iām nervous it must be if you canāt open a simple lock like that here you hold these Iāll open it oh for Pete sake this is the front door key Hazel did you see that
Beautiful Rosewood spin at piano yeah it maybe a museum piece and it may cost a fortune but it aināt much on Chopsticks I bought it what you you bought it how much I havenāt the nerve to tell you but itās being delivered to the house this afternoon Cod hey Missy look
At me are you telling the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me well thereās nothing to be nervous about we just got to be cool calm and collected hazel look thatās the key to my Workshop please stop asking me why I did it I donāt know why I did it I took one look and fell in love with that piano and the next thing I knew I was signing my name and telling them to send it C well maybe we ought to go down the
Corner and turn the street sign around thatās a wonderful idea oh forget it do you see anything nope nothing but a beautiful Empty Street boy the suspense is awful like one of them westons where you look down a deserted Street waiting for the bad men to come shoot up the sheriff I
Wouldnāt blame George if he shot me if I were any kind of a loving helpful wife I shoot myself all you got to do is to cross your fingers and pray that the truck breaks down and I got to cross my fingers and pray that Mr be makes Grand
Slams all afternoon doubled redoubled and vulnerable I wonder which would be better for George to walk in and see the piano or for George to be here when the piano walks in oh thereās nothing to worry about all we got to do is to convince Mr be that he wants a piano
Before he knows heās got one Hazel do you have a plan well but we better think up one pretty soon I hear Mr be at the front door George darling itās you well yes Mr B how many Grand slimes did you make this afternoon I played the worst game
Of bridge of my life and I donāt wish to discuss it the only bit of luck I did have today was sending Hazel along with you to that auction she told me on the phone you werenāt bringing anything home and thatās the absolute truth we didnāt
Bring a thing home it wasnāt even an auction I Know Dorothy what are you doing rearranging the Furniture oh not again well George the only reason I keep rearranging the furniture is because I keep trying to find some kind of solution solution to what this wall itās so bare well George look you can see for
Yourself how bare it is well of course itās bare you just move the chair away from it CH is right for this wall what it requires is is something about twice as wide well pianoās about twice as wide George why didnāt I think of it Hazel
Did you hear what he said a piano of course thatās the very thing if you donāt mind I prefer the chair I canāt sleep on a piano George the chair simply isnāt low enough it requires something this height and and your idea about a piano it was inspiration now just a
Minute we had a piano here when we first moved in remember a grand piano but you said it made the furniture look too small so we got rid of it another piano is the last thing weāre going to get for this house truck coming a truck itās a laundry
Truck itās a laundry truck what were you expecting a [Laughter] piano Hazel will you please take another look and see thereās inside of that truck coming NOP how do you like that them fellas are sure taking their time Heaven says there the one thing we have
To be thankful for I know I know but if we get things straightened out before they get here Iām sure going to let them have It out of the mouth of Babes Oh how donāt you think itās about time you started taking music lessons I didnāt know why why well if youāre going to learn to play an instrument you got to start taking music lessons early right Mr B what are you talking about howās music lessons what music lessons
Well the music lessons he ought to be taken right away you know you got a terrific ear for music Mr be well thank you hael and since Harold inherits it straight down from you it would be a shame for him not to start taking music lessons right away well I suppose how
Old were you when you started Mr B oh about Haroldās age oh yeah well uh what do you think we ought to do first get him an instrument well I think a thing like that should be left up to the child how do you feel about it son you really
Want to learn sure I do if you did oh I certainly did I wanted to be the greatest musician that ever lived and so do I I want to be exactly like you thank you [Laughter] son uh darling uh we were just talking about Harold starting to study music do you think heās too young no Iām not not if you did it oh I think itās a wonderful idea now I donāt want to force you into anything because if I did that youād
Learn to hate me music and thatās the last thing in the world Iād want when can I start the sooner the better Harold if youāre going to be like your dad we got to get you a piano right away right Mr B no I didnāt study the
Piano I studied the violin then thatās what I want to study Harold wouldnāt you rather study the piano it sounds better not if Dad studed R In but how violins is so expensive I read the other day where a famous violinist paid $25,000 for an old secondhand one now you wouldnāt want to put your dad in the poor house would you well he doesnāt have to have a strat of Various but suppose you get it and then it turns out he donāt like to play the fil you spend all that money for nothing and you wonāt even have something you could put the family pictures on the violin wonāt cost a scent I still
Have my old one where is it up in the attic oh boy can we go get it sure thing son I race you up the stairs Hazel how could I buy anything so expensive without consulting George he wouldnāt buy a car without consulting me
Or a suit or E even a tie I have to buy a piano donāt move if we donāt answer it maybe theyāll go away opportunity only knocks once but a piano move it keeps right on ringing we donāt answer Georgeās going to hear it I got an
Idea you stick on a doorbell Iāll see if I can Rous somebody around back [Laughter] youāre looking for the backers thatās right they moved they didnāt leave no Flor withen address uh weāve got your piano for you Mrs Baxter and if you donāt mind weāre in a
Hurry we got to deliver a desk over to Mrs Baldwin itās uh cood I know Missy put his finger right on it on what if thereās one thing Miss bwiās nutty about itās antiques donāt you think sheād like a little oldfashioned music wait right here Bust really darthy itās sounds Divine I have always wanted an antique Rosewood spinach oh but I could deprive you of it Peggy you donāt understand I want you to deprive me of it Iām running on a crazy impulse and if George finds out things are going to get pretty noisy around
Here well in that case why donāt you just have the men delivered here with the desk oh Peggy thatās the nicest thing anybodyās ever said to me she going to take it pH oh thank you thank you Iāll be looking for the man and I canāt wait to see it bye
Darthy Phil guess what darthy has found us the most priceless Treasure of a piano a piano a Rosewood spin at at least 150 years old Isnāt that fantastic yes fantastic thatās a good word for it have you taken a look at our bank balance lately well no well I want you
To take a good look at it and then I want you to call Dorothy and tell her not to send that piano over here but Iāve already told her I take it I canāt back down on my my word well Iāll back down on it for you going over to the
Backers and get a few things straightened out back to Residence oh yeah just a minute itās Mr blowen maybe we can sell him some more stuff Hello Phil oh oh you donāt want the you donāt want the the piano but Phil itās so beautiful and it goes so well with that desk oh
You donāt want the you donāt want the desk neither you coming over to see George oh boy weāre in real trouble now yes pH weāll be looking forward to seeing you those piano movers arenāt going to move a foot until theyāre paid maybe I can think of something else to move beside their
Feet man that Hazel sure can cook I donāt understand it no reason at all right out of the blue and she put on a feed like this for us now Phil calm down you donāt want to lose your temper in front of the ladies I certainly do they the reason I lost my
Temper Mr bwin I remembered how you liked avocado dip from the last times so I made some special just for you thank you Iāve always maintained it was bad policy to mix business and friendship but Dorthy really Academia your favorite kind of nuts Mr B Missy went all the way
Down to the market to get them just for you sheās always so considerate well thank you dear now Phil wait a minute I havenāt finished Dorothy did a good job on the house youāre Don toon sheās the best interior decorator in town but she wonāt stop decorating time I turn around Iāve
Got another bill to pay oh now Phil slow down a little bit last night I distinctly remember that Peggy asked Dorthy to get that antique desk thatās right Phil yeah and and Missy never said a thing about the Pea body sale until she did I distinctly heard it Hazel
Please but it was Dorothyās idea to get the desk in the first place only because that corner of yours is a problem I see in other words I shouldnāt blame anybody I should go home and get into an argument with that corner well the fact remains that Peggy asked Dorothy to buy
That desk did she ask her to buy the piano too piano what piano havenāt heard about the piano well George I canāt keep from butting in no longer it seems to me you men expect a lot from your wives when you come home from the office tired you like the house
To feel lived in and comfortable like an old shoe and when you bring home a client you expect it to be kind of rzy but you donāt want to pay nothing for the furniture any wife that can decorate a house like that deserves the Nobel Prize
Phil Hazel has put her finger right on your trouble thank you Hazel oh thatās okay you see youāve allowed Peggy to buy all the House Furnishing because you didnāt want to be bothered with it youād rather be out playing golf somewhere like you were today oh playing bridge or
Something like that right thatās right now I think under those circ*mstances a man should be gracious enough not to complain about what she buys aināt it the truth now Iām going to have another bit of this cake and we got to get this thing in there we donāt want to wear out
Our welcome no Mr B and Mr Beast just as bad as you are about buying furniture he hates it well I guess I do but Iāll say this for him even though he donāt always agree with what Missy buys he always goes along with it and pays the bill without
Complaining another macadamia nut Mr B George you um you make me feel ashamed of myself whatās that Pi your wife bought it at the Peabody sale itās uh cood now if youāll just make out a check Iāll write you a check for that antique desk itās worth it to see that
Expression on your face George what expression oh I love the piano well doroth and I discussed it thoroughly today itās exactly what we need for that bare wall I couldnāt be happier happy dear oh George youāre wonderful thereās only one thing whatās that Hazel well now that we got the new
Antique piano Donāt It Make all the rest of our old stuff look kind of [Applause] [Applause] new [Applause] this has been a screen jams Film Production from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia picture you mean they live for 25 years without furniture new furniture they had some old stuff that relatives loaned them but now heās got some money I co-signed his loan uhoh whatās the matter every time I hear
That word cosigner I get the Shivers what is a cosigner George well in financial and banking circles a cosigner is described as a Psy with a pen it means that if Gus doesnāt pay back the loan Hazel will have to pay it and if she doesnāt have the money well if I
Donāt have the money Iāll just find some somebody that does hi G oh hello hazel H draes just got back from the cleaners and I had to hang them cuz they get creased if you leave them lying around Hazel I just came from the bank oh good tomorrowās my
Day off Iāll meet you at the store and weāll pick out Millieās Furniture you know I know just the kind she wants cuz T and me have got the same good taste uh I didnāt get the money why not I signed the note uh thatās why didnāt get the
Money aināt my signature good enough for that bank oh no they said itās good itās just you you you canāt use it so often you co-signed somebody elseās note and you canāt use the same collateral twice oh what are they talking about I pay my
Bills and I got some cash in my savings account and I got some stocks and a few bonds and a good job they they also said no now now mind you Iām not saying it they said it said what well they said they prefer a different signature
They said theyāre just a little bank with with only a couple hundred million doar uh theyāre not a big International Bank they donāt feel theyāre big enough to deal with a brilliant finer like you who said that that baldheaded guy near the door didnāt he yeah thatās him yeah
Thatās him heās real sarcastic yeah he objects to the way you try to tell him how to run the bank oh I knew heād never forgive me for that boy one day I told him I ought to have my interest compounded daily and one thing led to
Other and and I told him how he ought to reorganize the bank and I think I mentioned something about his Baldhead too well the point is I I donāt have the money poor Melly yeah when we were married we decided to wait a few months before buying living room furniture the
Relatives let us have things they didnāt want it was only temporary we said that was 25 years ago isnāt that the doorbell yeah but Mr beās in the living room he always yells out Iāll get it Hazel and darling please please sit down I pay Hazel answer that door and I
Expect her to answer it cuz if you donāt yell out I got to take it on the double coming oh Iām sorry Mr Egan to keep you waiting Haz George Mr Egan I was going to drop by your office later on in the day it will not be necessary to keep that
Appointment I am here Mrs Baxter hello Mr Egan how are you how am I donāt ask oh Hazel I did want to thank you for that delicious dinner you served the other night oh the pleasure is all mine oh excuse me Mr Egan I donāt
Mean to be rude but uh I got company in the kitchen itās perfectly all right Hazel if you feel itās absolutely necessary to tear yourself away weāll excuse you thanks George George George do you know what this is well off hand no what is
It do you know what this is uh no what is it do you know what these are well of course those are earphones this is a microphone a miniature broadcasting station I was straightening a picture in my office this morning and I found this planted behind it you mean uh your office was
Bugged oh I got out of there as fast as I could well I donāt blame you I got hold of an Electronics expert and he said that this thing couldnāt broadcast very far so we searched the building we found this receiving equipment in the basem*nt you mean you
Found the person that did it no he got away well you know who might uh possibly bug your office of course I have an idea I was just about to begin some extremely confidential negotiations and thatās what I want to talk to you about George oh well if
Youāre going to discuss things that are confidential I think Iāll just run along upstairs Mr Egan maybe weād better go into the [Applause] den well I guess I better be getting back to work you had any lunch no Iāll skip it I had to go over to the bank and I oh donāt mention that Don bank to me again sit down Iāll fix your sandwich I got half a mind to draw all my savings
Out and close my account every time I go to that bank and I pass old baldiās desk we get into the same old argument boy I even went to the library you know to to get out some books on banking to prove that I was right but Don
It he was right I wasnāt and I was in too deep then you know to back down besides I just didnāt want to give him the satisfaction hey thank you George in the last 10 years Iāve built 10 new department stores in this state dedicated to our expanding population
And every time those Cut Rate Cutthroat Mohawk people have built a store right across the street from me yes but Mr Egan nobody knows better than you that competition is the heart of the American economy I donāt call that competition thatās downright piracy Iāve spent a fortune George a fortune giving my
Customers every conceivable convenience spacious parking Lots gracious restaurants and coffee shops baby minding services and artistically appointed restrooms well Mr Egan it Mohawk stores donāt give them anything like that so their customers use my conveniences but buy across the street well Mohawk can sell cheaper because they donāt have the overhead theyāre
Selling the merchandise and Iām Furnishing the customer conveniences Hazel mother want you What did you say SP mother she wants you to help her with something sheās upstairs oh okay where did you get that Contraption I didnāt donāt tell me you spent your money for another radio we already got them coming out our ears I didnāt buy him Hazel well donāt tell me
A traed you watch for it Hazel coming I canāt figure out how it this works why donāt you take it out in the kitchen to G might be can help you donāt leave them things lying around the lemon room I want you to see this George I just received it from the Architect there you are the architectās drawing of the new store Iām going to build beautiful isnāt it magnificent just beautiful whatās that whatās that Harold itās a radio I think with ear earphones radios havenāt had earphones since Guy Lombardo in the 20s well the scouts use earphones but I canāt get
Anything on it well here let me try sure hereās the blueprint of the lot plan what do you plan on building it thatās what Mohawk would like to find out thatās why theyāve been bugging my office you see Iāve been secretly buying up all the surrounding property through
Third parties ah I see now I have all the properties I need except this one big lot across the street if I can buy that Mohawk wonāt be able to get anywhere near me Maybe the batteryās dead no Iām still getting a hum Iām getting close to
Something and thatās why I have to keep it a secret because if Mohawk finds out the property I want you donāt have to tell me I know all they have to do is tell the owner theyāll top any offer you make theyāll have me trapped I think Iām getting something
What a couple of men talking well maybe the ham radio operators maybe on this crazy thing I wouldnāt be surprised if it was Marone and Edison George I need your advice very well I donāt think we have a moment to lose you canāt be sure how much of this
Has leaked out I think you have to act fast oh I donāt think that mooha whoās handling the property you want National real estate well theyāre good reliable people now look never mind all that third party SE stuff I think we better open negotiations right away me well if
They know I want it the price will D if they find out theyāll be asking more but itās better to pay it than lose a lot to Mohawk I know youāre right now I can assure you the price will be fair Iāll tell you what Iāll have my own real
Estate agent open negotiations Iāll call him right now you just sit down and relax I could use a cup of coffee just as soon as I make this call never mind Iāll get it whatās the matter one of the hams just signed off me to get some
Coffee see if we can get some music Hazel oh Hazelās upstairs Mr Egan oh well would you ask her if sheād serve some of that wonderful coffee of hers in the den yes sir thank you Harold nothing else on the [Laughter] Air George baxer fine Iāll was everything in the real estate business I tell you why Iām calling you all that lot down on the corner of spring and Fairmont thatās right itās being handled by national real estate well my client Mr Egan has to buy it before Mohawk department stores get
Their hands on it uh price is No Object speed is the important thing how soon do you think you could open negotiations good because Mohawk could wreck Mr Egan if they found out What Mr your house is bug too what you must be out of your mind thereās a man in the kitchen a man he heard every word a man in the kitchen you must be whatās his name oh heās all right heās only Hazel your friend whoād you say that was out in the
Kitchen you mean Gus Gus thatās it forgive me for saying this Mr Eagan but I think you have bugs on the prade heās a friend of Hazel oh sure heās a great guy he works at the Mohawk department store mohawk mohawk department stores yeah at the information booth when it
Comes to information they donāt come in any better than Gus b a massage his neck some more I think the blood all went down to his feet what happened I donāt know I aināt figured it out myself yet George whatās the matter this house is bugged thatās
Whatās the matter what I gave George some confidential information and thereās a mohawk man in the kitchen listening if you mean Gus heās the sweetest Hest EST guy in the world is it honest to plant a microphone on somebody he didnāt plant it on you Mr Egan it was
Your own mic you were carrying it around broadcasting then I asked you is it honest to EES drop on me with my own equipment look Mr E if youād come here to EES drop wouldnāt he have brought his own equipment thatās mohawk for you they take advantage of every facility I have
To offer well I donāt know what secret you and Mr be was talking about but Iād certainly vouch for Gus and so will I he aināt no super spy well the first thing to do is to find out how much heās heard he heard everything we didnāt miss a
Point well if heās heard too much weāll just have to keep him here incommunicado until we close that deal then we better find out before he gets to a phone oh I never thought of that that may be my real estate man Harold huh I canāt wait any longer for
Hazel Iām late already and I donāt want to lose my information job I need that money if thatās my real estate agent tell him Iāll call it back I take the message Yeah Harold Harold where whatās his name who well who is it whatās his name I never going remember it itās Gus Gus Anderson oh he just went out the back door he was sure in a hurry he said he had to get down to the Mohawk department
Store right away he said he needed the money from his information job where you did everybody went that Away where are they going trying to catch Gus well that was Mr beās real estate agent on the phone he says that Mr B and Mr Edan come right down to his office that they can close the deal today hey so you better go after them
Iāll go get the car keys oh Iāll get my clo I have been hunting all over this store looking for sneakers where are you hiding them theyāre in the basem*nt go down those stairs over there and turn right Iām sorry Mr Wilson and since when
Did we take an hour and 25 minutes for lunch Iām terribly sorry Iām the floor Walker Iām not supposed to handle your information desk while you have a siesta you see tomorrowās my wifeās silver wedding anniversary and I wanted to get 5 minutes not an anniversary present
From the store no sir youāll be do yes sir I know I donāt want excuses I want you here at the information desk where you belong yes Sir uh youāre uh whoās it whichās his name Gus Anderson yes I am and youāre Mr bter I donāt like it he looks too happy yes I am weāve never met but I recognize you from pictures I saw of you at your house I uh I Iām a friend of Hazel yes I
Know uh as a matter of fact youāve been to my house many times havenāt you oh yes Iāve been there lots of times when you didnāt know it many is the time I heard you talking in the other room uh this is Mr Egan the owner of the Egan department stores
How do you do Mr Egan itās an honor to have you visit us here at Mohawk hand me the Phone get me the bossās office Quick time Mr Roland Wilson floor Walker on the first floor somethingās going on down here I thought you ought to know what do you mean Mr Egan is here Egan the Mr Egan Egan department stores and he has his attorney with him George Baxter what are they doing theyāre
Shaking hands with our man at the information desk why thatās what I thought you might want to find out get to the point George get to the point uh Mr Anderson suppose you tell us what you heard today heard Oh you mean the bad news well the
Bank wouldnāt give me the loan I needed you see tomorrowās my silver wedding anniversary and uh I needed quite a bit of money heās setting us up for blackmail Iām talking about out in the kitchen of my house when you had the earphones on just what did you hear oh
Well I heard a couple of hams talking uh about a lot on the corner of a spring in fairou oh Hazel what are you doing here hi Hazel getting to be a regular family reunion whereās Mrs Baxter oh excuse me you just minut us I got to tell Mr B
Something very important oh Mr B your real estate agent called and he says if you get down to his office right away maybe you can close that deal today well at least thatās good news come on wait a minute wait a minute what about him he knows about the corner of spring and
Fair Mound Hazel I want you to stick right here with Gus huh donāt let him talk to anybody oh I canāt do that Mr be this is an information bu heās got to answer questions when you do all the Talking around our house I canāt get a
Word in edgeways so would you please do as much for Gus and donāt let him out of your sight oh no I canāt I mean suppose he wants to wash his hands bring him some water from the drinking found now keep him in sight and donāt let him talk to anybody come
On G yes Hazel for your sake I hope your hands aināt dirty Anderson yes sir uh Wonder Mr Egan and his attorney doing here excuse me could you tell me where the ladies kimonas are yes over Anderson oh just a minute I havenāt told him what kind of a kimona Iām interested
In well we carry only one kind Madam I know but if he describes it then he could save me a trip there Anderson what were they doing here and you had better speak up if you want to hold on to your job here they didnāt come in here just
Ask you where they could find menās underwear oh where is menās underwear what type did you have in mind have you been feing them any information about our operation here men silk underwear oh no Mr Roland well then what were Ian and his attorney are you doing here a men
Silk box of shorts do you have box of shorts Wilson here says that you were smiling smiling and shaking hands with Mr Egan donāt you realize theyāre competitors theyāre Rivals they could do anything to put us out of business men box of shorts with a strike down the
Side they werenāt here for nothing what are you trying to pull behind my back with the rainforce back Iām not pulling anything Mr Roland uh Iāll admit I was out to Mr Baxterās house quite a few times this week but with the reinfor back I was there today at lunch when
When Mr Egan was there but lunch he had lunch with Mr Egan and Mr back well I donāt know what youāre trying to pull Anderson but you are fired f r i e d fired pardon me Mr Roland but fed is fried youāre fried johnie we did
Did it Mr got the property oh well congratulations now Mohawk canāt touch me now I can give my customers the best of everything and still make a profit and look what he brought to celebrate with champagne well smile Hazel smile uh Mr Eagan you will stay for dinner wonāt you
Hazel will cook the finest dinner George I I donāt think Hazel feels like cooking dinner tonight whatās the matter itās Gus who Oh you mean whoās it what whatās his name Gus Anderson he got fired heās out in the kitchen George he hasnāt the nerve to go home and tell his wife and
Tomorrowās their silver anniversary a fine present heās going to give her his boss saw him with you and Mr Egan and he found out heād been coming here to the house so he suspected the worst that Gus had been giving you business secrets well do you mean that I have to lose my
Dinner on a account of a little thing like that little Gus has lost his job and itās all my fault cuz I was the one that put put the bee in his Bonnet about getting Millie new furniture well donāt worry Iāll see to it that he gets another job just what
Itāll be I donāt know but I give you my word oh Mr B I love You what can I do to get a reward like that Iām glad you asked I was thinking maybe itā be nice if your store was to give Gus some new furniture for his anniversary Hazel the way I feel right now he can have anything he wants at
Cost oh well I wasnāt figuring that way I was figuring maybe for free oh no wait a minute wait a minute I donāt mind not making a profit but as a matter of principle I cannot take a loss well remember Gus saved your new store for
You if he told Mohawk what you was up to but you just said he didnāt know what I was up to no but heās real fast heād to figure it out in no time in 10 minutes he would have had you right in the palm
Of his hand but heās too nice a guy to take advantage of a wonderful man like you Mr Egan please take some advice from your lawyer Iām speaking from experience you better give Hazel what she wants before she talks you out of the whole store one for
You and one for me I donāt know how to thank you Hazel oh thatās all right Mr Egan said we could have whatever was left over the way I feel right now he have anything he wants George just talked to a friend of his downtown he
Has a new job for Gus and it pays half again as much as heās been making that isnāt all tell him Mr Egan I called our best interior decorator and I arranged for Mrs Anderson to have any household Furnishing she desires free of cost George you better figure out some way
For me to take this off our income tax Iām so happy for you Gus all week you and Hazel have worked so hard to give Millie this President well look how it turned out to Hazel to Hazel to Hazel A screen Jams Production why do you know that he tried to bribe her by saying he might buy buy her a car well they donāt call Mr Griffin the steamroller for nothing with this contract we know that Rosieās ours for the next 5 years and I do appreciate
Your drawing It Up George forget a doc I may need a free consultation sometime anytime goodbye George bye oh uh incidentally doc I just assumed Hazel didnāt know anything about Rosyās contract why not because I still think itās a silly idea and Hazel May you want one all right George Iāll alert Rosie
That weāve got a secret George even if Hazel did find out about Rosieās contract she wouldnāt want one sheās a member of the family why Hazel wouldnāt want a contract or any more than Harold would would you care to make a little bit certainly but if Iām right
You have to buy me that set of matched luggage Iāve been wanting oh hi Rosie come on in hi girlo I just happen to be passing by on my way home from the market so I thought Iād stop in and Chin a while well Iām
Glad you did I didnāt have a chance to show you the new things Mr be got for me look at my new refrigerator it defrosts all by itself without me doing anything oh how nice and look at my new stove considering all the things this stove
Can do by itself you think it had gone to college you donāt say and my new dish wash it oh whatās that you got in your pocket oh oh nothing nothing oh Rosie hammerer you finally got it got what her diploma from Charm School congratulations Ros oh no AEL itās not
Oh come on let me see it did you graduate with honor oh no AEL itās not a diploma Sunshine girlās honor Sunshine Girls honor well then what is it well I canāt tell you I promise the doctor well what are you going around with a sticking out of your pocket to make
People curious for well I like to have it with me because this canāt I mean this document gives me a lot of emotional security you sound just like the doctor what is that all mean well you know how some of us get to worrying about Automation and about being done
Out of our jobs what is automation me well itās like machines doing things that people used to do you know like that refrigerator defrosting itself oh well automation donāt worry me none well it does some of us and I I donāt have to worry now for five whole years and itās all legal
Legal oh maybe I had not have said that well since you said it and since the doctor came over here this morning whatās Mr B got to do with it I canāt say another word Hazel my lips are sealed I promise the doctor well I got to go now bye Harold
Bye Hazel bye Rosie bye nothing Burns me up more than having a secret right under my nose when I aināt in on it me too come on Harold your dadās out in the workshop oh aināt that the painting youāre going to have in your office yes
Do you like it H real nice Hazel did you want to see me about something oh yes Missy since weāre one big happy family that donāt keep no secrets from each other I just thought Iād tell you what Mr Griffin said when did you see the steamroller
After church last Sunday we was chatting oh what about oh this and that mostly about Missy he said in that new outfit you looked as fresh and pretty as a whole field of yellow buttercups you mean thatās the secret and a very nice one thank you Hazel you
Got any secret you can it tell us Mr be I do not but Dad what is it son oh nothing on second thought Missy maybe you better put that picture in Mr beās Den what makes you say that Hazel well heās in there so much you know reading his mystery novels
And sitting with his feet up working on his legal documents you know she has a point George youāve been working on any good legal documents lately Mr B Hazel I am constantly working on good legal documents have you worked on any good ones for Rosie lately
All right you two now why are you trying to get me to tell something that Rosieās already blabbed because Rosie wouldnāt blab thatās why the doctor sealed her mouth and I mean it aināt right Rosie knowing something that some of us in the bosom of the family aināt in on what
Kind of a bosom is that all right if I tell you will you promise thatās the last youāll ever hear of it sunshine girlās honor well Dr Craig has decided to put Rosie under a 5-year contract what does that mean it means that Rosie agrees to work for the Craigs and Dr
Craig agrees to hire Rosie for a term of 5 years H my secret about Missy and the buttercups was better than that why were you keeping it a secret well Hazel because because he was afraid if you found out about Rosieās contract youād want one oh for Peteās sake Mr be Rosie
And the Craigs aināt like me and all of you Bo iā know more want a contract from you than little Harold here you know thereās a terrific Echo effect in this room I like the Acoustics in here but thereās a favor I want to ask
You Mr be whatās that the next time you have a secret that you want to keep try and make it one thatās worthwhile going to the trouble of prying out [Laughter] again you know how sometimes we all get to worrying about Automation and how it might do us out of our jobs out of our jobs out of our jobs out of our jobs out of our jobs ever since we sent Hazel on our Permanent Vacation the food in this
House has been fabulous even my cod liver oil tastes good and for the first time in my married life Iām off those starvation portions whatās for breakfast your your favorite blueberry Pancakes I guess thatās enough to start with weāll have our coffee now [Laughter] oh no no please donāt throw me out again just give me a little cruster bread just a little cruster bread oh just a crust of bread just one little crust oh oh I got to get Mr B to give me a contract I wanted to tell you what Mr
Griffin said Mr Griffin said this and that and this and that and this and [Applause] that hi son hi Dad well what are you doing out here all by yourself waiting for hazel well Harold you know Hazel works for Mr Griffin now yeah but this is
Their day up and she promised to take me for a ride in your chariot Chariot what Chariot this well new one then Mr Griffin B Dorothy whatās for dinner my usual apricot whip oh no since Hazel left weāve had nothing but apricot whip every day for breakfast lunch dinner
Well Iām sorry darling itās the only thing I know how to make if I donāt get up decent meal soon Iāll waste away to nothing me too dad will you play cids with me the way Hazel used to oh Iām sorry son Iām just too weak would you
Like me to play with you Harold I donāt think so you throw like a girl hey here she [Applause] comes and make a swell Chariot hi Mr B how about going for a Spin if itās the last thing I do Iām going to talk Hazel into signing a [Applause] Contract Hazel Mr be I didnāt expect to see you till breakfast what are you doing up at this hour I might ask you the same question well I couldnāt sleep very well I thought Iād heat me up a cup of hot milk well I couldnāt sleep either so I
Thought Iād fix myself a little snack just a tiny tidbit how would you like a big avocado bacon and tomato sandwich must be dreaming I got a nice avocado out in the fruit bin itās amazing how quick a bullet board can get cluttered aināt it Mr be
Aināt it I mean isnāt it what I say itās itās amazing how quick a bulletin board can get cluttered up with Junk hael just a sec oh I forgot I used the avocado in the salad last night well I guess youāll just have to settle for coted Cheese what was you going to say Mr B well I was just about to ask the meaning of this oh it means talk to Mr Griffin well I could have figured that much out myself what did you want to talk to him about itās something kind of personal Mr
B oh hereās you kind of cheese help yourself Iāll be talking to him the first thing in the morning Mr Griffin I mean Hazel I have something to say to you and I donāt want to beat around the bush oh good the only place iā ever get
You is dizzy hey have you been happy here with us happy is a clam and I hi well weāve been very happy with you to is that what you didnāt want to beat around the bush to tell me well no not exactly do you happen to know what time
Mr Griffin gets up no I donāt and what difference does it make well because Iām going to talk to him first thing in the morning Hazel whatever Griffin offers Iāll match you will I give my word on it so now Iād like to get down a brass tax
And discuss your contract youāre going to give me a contract thatās right the same as Rosies oh with certain reservations so if youāll come into the den Iād like to go over copy of it with you and show you all the advantages and protection youāll have oh sure where I turn off the
Milk this sure turned out to be an interesting evening paragraph 17 and this is the last one simply says this agreement may not be altered modified or changed in any way except by an instrument in writing signed by both parties well Hazel what do you say just two little words I do George what are you doing Dorothy Iām sorry I tripped I mean what are you doing up well if you must know Iāve been signing a contract at 3:00 in the morning thatās right with hazel oh George youāre joking go to sleep itās no joke I hate
Burke party of the first part do hereby agree to render my services as a domestic engineer exclusively to George Baxter party of the second part for a period of well if youāre not joking youāre out of your head we donāt need a contract with hazel Dorothy you donāt
Know how close she came to going to work for Mr Griffin oh I donāt believe it well thatās because you just donāt want to believe it but she was all set to talk to him the first thing in the morning now with his contract we sure of
Her for the next 5 years without it I was sure she was ours for life oh George a contract with hazel wonāt work it just wonāt why not itās a perfectly business-like Arrangement oh oh I didnāt know we were running a business I thought we were running a home well now
Donāt be sarcastic of course weāre running a home well I know one thing for sure George you donāt keep the home fires burning with a lot of where ases and where fors Dorothy look at it this way donāt you want Hazel to have a sense of security George
Baxter if you have to ask me a question like that weād better get someone to introduce us Dorothy will you listen to me for just a minute now under this contract Hazel knows sheāll get a raise every time the cost of living goes up she knows exactly what her Duties are
And what they are not she knows how many hours a day she has to work and how often sheās entitled to a rest period She also knows that your minut up well thanks a lot for being so unreasonable George the man who thinks that contract to such a good idea is lawyer
Baxter but the man who lives in this house and whoās loved and trusted Hazel for 12 years and has been loved and trusted by her thatās Mr B now theyāre two very different people George with two very different sets of values am I getting through to
You well I donāt know I think youāre just feeling sentimental letās go to sleep good night Mr B Hazel Hazel yes sir Iām late for the office and I have a loose button can you fix it for me oh sure I got my in basket right here lawyer Baxter according to paragraph three employer shall neither demand nor expect Services of a personal Nature Is your eggn Mr be oh thanks Hazel did you put plenty of nutmeg in it lots of vanilla oh sure thatās the way you like it aināt it Ambrosia Hazel thereās no one in the world who knows how to pamper a man with
A cold the way you do oh go on Mr B lawyer Baxter a according to paragraph 5 when employer requires specialized skills he hires Personnel so Trained mhm yes to L Mr be oh excuse me Bob goodbye Hazel have a nice day off just leave the dishes Iāll do them when I come home gee thanks Hazel Bob Iāll meet you at the first hole in 15 minutes paragraph nine on employees day off employer agrees to do the
Dishes sorry Bob no golf today Iāve got to do my dishes Will the prisoner approach the bench for Sentencing lawyer Baxter for continued and flagrant violation of paragraphs 359 and others too numerous to mention I senten you to a 5-year contract on the rock pile but your honor Iām not lawyer Baxter Iām Mr B Iām Mr B Iām Mr B Iām Mr [Applause] B boy when I make a mistake I donāt kill around why I wouldnāt want to contract anyone little Harold would well I wouldnāt want a contract any more than little Harold Would well thereās no use talking thereās something to buy the uniform and I got my own personal offices club right here in my own kitchen hael you canāt feed all these men why not because food costs money and according to our contract you agreed to exercise due restraint in incurring
Unnecessary household expenses oh I forgot about that paragraph Iām sorry Fellas you need us for anything Hazel will be over at Merz Merz Hazel what are you doing oh what kind of a question is that itās Missyās birthday Iām making her a cake but you canāt work on your day off why our contract States at an employee must get double pay on days off I will not stand for it oh but
Mr B Iāve been making Missy a birthday cake since she was a little Sprout that high I aināt never missed one well Iām afraid youāre going to have to miss it this year thereās no point in having a contract if we donāt live up to it oh there we are thatās the last
One Hazel will you listen to me say my prayers oh sure Sport this is the best part of the day dear God bless quitting time Hazel you put in your eight hours and I donāt want you going into Overtime oh that contractās the worst thing that ever happened to me Oh Iām certainly glad you to finally came to your senses last night I am too you canāt beat Mutual trust and respect I second the motion I third it oh oh Mr B remember that promise you made last night about matching anything Mr Griffin offered the one you gave me a
Solemn word on Hazel we have terminated the contract oh well what I talked to Mr Griffin about this morning was a contribution to the Sunshine Girls Health and Welfare fund oh he gave me $25 contribution so anytime you want to F it Over thanks Mr [Laughter] me This has been a screen gems Film Production Hazel is brought to you By Dorothy is dinner has been a lifesaver anybody for more coffee no thanks Iāll have some please Hazel Dorothy once again let me tell you how much we appreciate your inviting us over for dinner tonight oh the pleasure is all ours of course it is after all reita
Shouldnāt have to cook after all that work of moving into a house of course not uh on moving day uh most people go to a restaurant and incidently thereās a very good one on the other side of the park and very handy but fortunately uh living next door like
This we can have the pleasure of your company and we certainly appreciate your letting us have that bed boy am I going to sleep tonight oh me too Iām Bush Iām hold the lawn all day all day yes Hazel I noticed that if you cut that lawn once
You cut it 10 times Iām a perfectionist she wanted to see what the movie Men took into your house well okay so Iām curious well if youāll excuse us I think we better be getting back next door we got a million things to get straightened out and put away itās terribly rude to
Rush off like this but everything over there is in such a Shad we donāt feel guilty we understand now donāt forget Dorothy Iām depending on you and your good taste to help me decorate my home oh Iām looking forward to it well good night all night good night oh Harry um
You go on Iāll be along in a minute Hazel um before I go I wonder if I can have a little talk with you sure uh uh privately oh oh yeah sure letās just step into the D you excuse me certainly Rita Where does she get that stuff letās
Step into the dance Dorothy thatās my room my study my office when Iām home suppose I had confidential papers lying on the table George if youāre not smart enough to put confidential papers away donāt blame Hazel now come on help me clear the dinner today
Hazel I want to ask you for your help oh sure anything I can do just name it George the idea for years youāve been criticizing Hazel for Eve dropping night youāre doing the very same thing yourself come on Dorothy you know what Reed is going
To try to do donāt you heās going to try to get hazel to do a lot of her housework on my time well Harry and I have only been married a few weeks and I do so want to make a success of this marriage one year thatās how long I give
That marriage one year George thatās a horrible thought to have for a newly married couple a guy whoās been a Playboy all his life suddenly marries a professional singer theyāre just not geared for domestic life one year marriage is something so new to me Iāve
Already had my success as a singer now I want to be a success as a wife and thatās why I need your help well if Hazelās going to help 6 months thatās how long I get that marriage 6 months I want our marriage to be like
George and Dorothyās I want you to help me be like Dorothy isnāt R sweet and I want you to do for Harry what youāve done for George Iām very fond of Harry but I donāt want to waste that on him youāve created a an atmosphere in their home
Atmosphere is that what they call it I thought the word was catastrophe well itās true their marriage is the most important thing in the world to me I suppose every now and then I get under Mr beās skin but really down inside he knows I love him he knows oh sure he
Knows it aināt the sort of thing you can put into words or or show by doing little things itās itās love and he knows well letās uh get the dishes off the table somehow all all of a sudden I donāt feel so smart Aly darling we canāt just sit here like this all day why not because weāve got all these things to put away weāve got all the rest of our lives to do that no why donāt we get hazel to do it because Hazel works for George sheās got enough to do to run his
House now Harry look this chest of drawers that you brought from your bachelor apartment it simply wonāt work here in the bedroom there is enough room for it all right weāll put it in the guest room all right letās transfer your things to the new dress all right d Harry Yes
Dear why did you wait so long to get married I was waiting for you now you really canāt expect me to believe that itās true all my Life I Lived like a Hermit just waiting for you you know I wasnāt born yesterday myself I know there have been girls in
Your life I suppose I should be ashamed of it but until you thereās never been any real romance in my life no not a h Iāve buried myself in my law work a pretty girl having to pass by I was too busy even to notice it you what
Dear where are you going I think I heard the telephone ringing what telephone I better answered the telones havenāt even been installed yet Harry hi Miss no I brought you another trash can aināt that something so and love you donāt know anybody else is alive Dorothy our phone hasnāt been a sold yet may I use yours of course Harry right There I you the [Applause] on itās personal and how itās [Laughter] [Applause] personal Mr nās office Susan this is Mr n oh hello Harry please Susan since Iām married not Harry Mr n yes Harry I mean Mr Susan I let you and your roommate use my apartment for a month while I was in Europe remember naturally I remember they were redecorating our place and
When you but did you or your roommate leave a chiffon necklacee in the bottom drawer of my chest of drawers you found it then you did we couldnāt find it any place my roommate thought your cleaning woman took it but we didnāt say anything about it because we didnāt want to get
Anybody into any trouble oh you didnāt want to get anybody into any trouble oh good morning Hazel oh good morning Miss null look at this whereād you get that in the trash can really itās practically brand new well itās itās very beautiful isnāt it oh sure itās real a more to a more
Stuff you didnāt want to throw it out did you you know you know sometimes these things get mixed in with the trash well I sort of had a hunch and Mr n made a mistake Hazel I have a hunch your hunch was right well I got to go find
Harold oh Harry George will be down in a minute heās getting Dear is this what youāre looking For well everything tuny Dory next door I tell you itās a wonderful feeling helping a couple like that start off their marriage on the right Foot that NE was practically new Mr n must have picked it up with some other stuff and dumped it in the trash can for heavenās sakes well boy he aināt much of a lawyer if he aināt more Wide Awake than that boy that must have
Cost 30 or 40 bucks at the cost a d that neglige well if George ever did a thing like that to me he would never hear the end of it well fortunately I was on my toes and I guess after this Mr nās going to be too
Did Rita get mad at Harry for doing such a thing no she had the sweetest smile when I told her not a cross word I tell you my spiritās hanging over that house like a guardian angel whereās George Harry what whereās George well well heās gone to the office
I have to talk to him well I donāt think heās there yet Harry well how soon will he be there well it depends on whether or not he stops somewhere on the way Mr no Iām fixing some chicken noodle soup for you and Mrs N for lunch itāll be
Ready just as soon as the water boils oh good thatās just what I need some more hot water Hazel thought sheād cook it here and then bring it over she wasnāt sure what your gas was on take my word for it the gas is off whatās the matter
Youāre not your usual cheery self that neglige she gave my wife belongs to my secretary your secretary what was it doing in in the trash can thatās what Iāve been trying to explain to my wife for the last half hour Mr Bast yeah Susan thank goodness youāre here why whatās the trouble judge
Cafy called about 10 minutes ago and wanted to speak to Mr n but I canāt reach him his telephone hasnāt been installed well what was it about you know he wants to examine the pre-trial testimony of the Wilson versus Hamilton case he needs it right away oh well
Technically Mr n is still on his honeymoon so Iāll handle it bring the testimony in here Iāll and see the judge caffy gets it right away thatās the trouble what do you mean we donāt have a copy of the testimony in our files well
Where is it itās at Mr nās home at at his home well I just came into the office now donāt tell me I have to go all the way home again well I can go get it for you no no no there isnāt time for
That I have to check it first and if judge CA has to read it well I can go with you and when you finish Iāll take it to him itās a good idea come with me thank you besides Iām curious as to what his new wife looks
Like well if anyone else is curious ious about meeting the newlyweds just tell them to drop around my house anytime night or day theyāre always There did Mr Baxter say where he was going I see all right thank you you came in the office and went right out again oh Iām terribly sorry Mr no when I found the neglige I didnāt have the slightest idea no youāre not the one
That needs the idea Iām the one needs an idea I think Iāve got it what what is it well suppose you two go over to my house to sort of help breita straighten things up you know sheās been asking questions about my secretary but sheās never seen
Her I suppose you casually start to describe my secretary mention the fact that sheās 62 years old 62 years old I mention the fact that sheās Liv with the firm since it was founded back in 1800 wait a minute if she was with The Firm
Back in the 1800s she must be over 62 by now good good the older the better you donāt have to overdo it just describe her as an attractive gray-haired woman with a mustache sort of sort of like mine Harry donāt be Preposterous describe her as the motherly type that
Aināt no way to start a marriage Mr n now listen Harry you said that you let your secretary and her roommate use your apartment while you were in Europe yes theirs was being redecorated well one or the other left a neglige by stake well thereās nothing wrong in that unless you
Make something wrong out of it where you pulled the bone and was trying to hide it as you see you created suspicion where there was no need for it I know your secretary Harry sheās a very lovely girl just because she called you by your first name donāt mean itās a great big
Romance R loves you Harry Harry she doesnāt care anything at all about the other girls you knew before her no any more than Missy Minds the girls in Mr beās life what girl I was thinking of Phi whoās Phoebe you know the girl Mr be was going with when he met
You well I didnāt know George was going with anyone when he met me oh sure you do donāt you remember Phoebe whatās her name her family Cook was an old friend of mine she was always bragging about how no girl could get Mr be away from Phoebe George never met mentioned a girl
Named Phoebe oh well naturally not after he met you but one night when he was talking in his sleep it sounded to me like he mentioned a girlās name Phoebe my secretary is 62 years old no Harry you have to go over there and get everything straightened out with Rita
Yes and tell the truth yes I suppose itās the thing to do but the only thing admit that Susan is pretty Iāll do it yeah so sheās young and pretty whatās the harm of being young and pretty Iāll do it okay and weāll go all with you and back you up
Itās the only way to build a beautiful marriage Harry keep everything open and above board sheāll admire you for it Iāll do it if I once start lying Iāll never be able to stop Iām going to get this marriage back on an even ke Harold weāre going over to the nollās
House will you answer the phone if it rings okay come on Missy hurry up baby oh forget it go On Rita darling donāt forget Harry tell the truth and nothing but the truth I know itās the only way oh hello hello Dorothy Hazel Mrs no your husbandās got something he wants to tell you Iāll bet darling about that Nee Iām going to tell you precisely what happened it
Aināt as bad as it seems you know it aināt even bad at all when I was in Europe a few months ago I let my secretary and her girlfriend use my apartment her own was being redecorated somehow or other she left her negl in my dresser it was all perfectly
Innocent especially when you consider that my secretary is 62 years old I didnāt know that well never thought it was necessary to mention it well sheās been with the firm for years and years and years and years she knows how valuable she is to us in fact she knows more about whatās going
On in the office than any of us last year on her birthday when she was 72 all fell in the office chipped in 72 I thought you just said she was 62 but you know how ladies are sometimes they shave a few years off 72 is the
Correct figure so I feel very ented hael will you stop punching me Dad what is it son I saw your car drive up this is the phone ring itās your office they want to talk to you about something real important oh all right uh come along with me oh uh Harold uh son will you ask Mr
No to come over to the house tell him I want to see him okay what on Earth is the matter the three of you were staring at that front door though you expected a tornado to hit itās H oh hello oh hi Harold dad just got home from work he wants Mr no to come over to the house right away all right Iāll count no you got these melon sace Iād go get it only we got our hands full 72 years years old Harry I donāt
Care what kind of a jam youāre in at home I want that pre-trial testimony in the Wilson Hamilton case you told your wife I was 72 years old well not you I said my secretary was now I got to let you go and find a 72y old Secretary you
Canāt do that Mr null it aināt her fault youād fire me to back up a lie you told your wife I have to if a man has no Integrity he has nothing when I tell a lie I stick to It Mr back Iām warning you if he fires me on Browns like that every secretary in that office will walk out now wait a minute they will theyāll put whatever theyāre doing and walk right out the door well well heās not firing you I have to George I have to have a
72-year-old secretary if I go every secretary will go with me will someone please tell me who started this mess anyway I just hope I never see another trash can again as long as I live I know what his secretary looks like there thereās a picture of her in
His album the two of them in bathing suits ohita well preserved for 72 isnāt she I hope I look that young when Iām that age if he wanted to hide anything he should have hidden this album no no Rita I I know his secretary I know her
Very well sheās a really lovely girl I donāt doubt it thatās not what Iām mad about why did he have to tell me sheās 72 years old oh he wanted to tell you the truth he tried to tell you the truth he just couldnāt get up the nerve
Now thatās what Iām mad about heās acting as though Iām some kind of greeneyed truish jealous monster itās a reflection on me Harry will you quit stalling I want that pre-trial testimony judge CA is waiting for now get going Iām going Iām going you will introduce
Your secretary to your wife I will and let the chips fall where they May Iāll be right back with the testimony and the chips George we left them kissing and making up oh sure everything going to be peachy reading you all along Susan was young and pretty she saw your picture in Harryās photograph album now all he has
To do is explain the other 20 girls in the album well Iāve checked all the testimony I kept this over to judge Cy as soon as you can oh yes sir bye Mrs back and after all that George Rita had asked Hazel to help them make their
Marriage as successful as ours has been so I talk some sense into them yep I got them all figured out Iām just going to drench that house with love Iām going to give them everything I can think of so theyāll be as happy as you and Missy George yes whoās speak who who
Phoebe well I donāt know any Phoebe Hazel said you were going with a girl named Phoebe when you met me oh her you never even mentioned her to me well thereās no reason why I should was there a reason why you shouldnāt of course not why well George
Baxter one night when you were mumbling in your Sleep Hazel never mind the house next door start covering this house with light and Love [Applause] A screen Jams [Applause] Production Hazel Hazel why arenāt you answering my sister-in-law is going to be here any minute and I I need your advice oh Hazel what are you doing with the cotton in your ears huh what are you doing with the cotton in your ears I donāt want to
Get mixed up in any Feud with you and Miss Miss Thompson well thereās no Feud itās just that well she tries to tell me how to run my life hands off is my motto she says itās my duty to help Steveās career and she also says itās my duty to
Join the symphony Society itās also my duty to help him with his social Prestige Iām going to put the cotton back in my ears again she say the same thing with the art museum group well I donāt believe in getting mixed up in family feuds but Iām going to give you a
Little advice try a little positive thinking well if thatās the best we can do thatās the best anybody can do expect the best a little positive thinking never let anybody down okay Iāll expect the best thatās right be an optimist expect your sister-in-law not to mention anything and mind your own business and
Not to mention the symphony Society or the art museum again the last time I was here you had decided to join the symphony Society well yes I I yes you were very enthusiastic about it well yes but well other other things came up and the Art Museum group I assumed that you
Were already very active in that well I I want to join I really do I just assumed you already had well I guess thereās just so much you can expect from a little dab of positive Thinking now wait a minute just cuz you got nine lives donāt mean you have to eat 18 meals a day when I joined the symphony Society I hadnāt the slightest interest in music in fact I still donāt but I made some valuable social contacts which helped Harry in his business didnāt they Harry
Harry can see that he couldnāt have those contacts on his own and heās always been very thankful for it havenāt you Harry very thankful and very appreciative Iām sure he is and Steven will feel exactly the same way about you if you assist him in his career as I assisted Harry wonāt he Harry Harry I must say youāre not contributing much to this conversation you know thatās one thing that Iāve never understood about Harry heās so um um uncommunicative you know heās sort of a shy introspective type likes to keep things to himself Barbara I meant to ask you how
Is Susie doing at Miss Petersonās School Harry can I get you something can I have Hazel bring you some coffee or anything as a matter of fact I think Iāll go into the kitchen have a little chat with hazel if you donāt mind I do mind we
Didnāt come here to visit the hired help oh we donāt consider Hazel hired help sheās one of the family Barbara I have a feeling youāre evading me I asked you how Susie was doing in Miss Petersonās school well I havenāt enrolled her yet yet but my dear a month ago I told you
How important it was I know but well I I talk to Susie and well sheās not really too keen on the idea keen on the idea she is your child isnāt she you are her mother yes but but you donāt let her decide everything for herself do you no but
What all you do is simply enroll Her we canāt let children be their own masters thatās why we become parents to look after them and to show them whatās good for them Susie Susie what are you hunting for Iām not honey Iām hiding who from Aunt Debra she wants me to go to that Miss Peters in school if I stay out of sight maybe sheāll change the subject but dearra sheās only 8 years old but thatās precisely the age to start thatās
When I started sheāll learn all the little niceties of good manners how to introduce people how to enter and leave a room the art of walking up and downstairs gracefully and believe me it is an art thatās so important isnāt it Harry oh yes it is dear you havenāt
Fallen downstairs since weāve been married I have her number Iāll call her and make all the arrangements itāll save the trouble my dear oh but I besides Iāll enjoy talking to her [Applause] [Applause] Again are you darling honey Harry Dave Barbara phoned me at the office and said youād arrived howās the real estate business Iām doing just great howās your business Dās doing just great Harry I think you better explain that that was a joke that was a
Joke how the Houdini did you get in here Boy should have frisa she must have a pass key how long did it take you to drive over about 2 hours oh you made pretty good time Harryās an excellent driver so are you sweetheart youāre one of the greatest drivers in the world he I just canāt cope with her
Sheās been at it ever since she got here still hopping on that Symphony Association oh no itās not the symphony Association itās sending Susie to miss Petersonās elocution school well what should she go there for oh to learn social graces well Iāve heard of them but I never could make out just what
They were well theyāre things like well you know speaking in public an eight-year-old girl lectur no sheāll learn you know good diction and things like that so she wonāt slur her words oh maybe I ought to go to that school Miss Peterson they learn how to speak distinctly like Peter Piper picked a
Peck of pickle peppers where are the peack of pickle peppers Peter Piper picked Peter Piper I donāt know maybe itās all very good for her but well I just donāt want to force her into going if she doesnāt want to go do you want her to go no not unless she really wants
To go and Mrs Thompson is trying to force her to go she practically had her enrolled in school 5 minutes ago she was on the phone arranging it when Steve walked in the door well if you donāt want her to go and Susie donāt want to
Go why you letting Mrs Thompson for her I just told you I canāt cope with her well why donāt you tell Mr Steve well how can I he thinks his sisterās perfect well as you know she practically raised him itās only natural for him to assume that sheās got our best interest at
Heart oh Asel I just canāt tell him what she does to me what does that mean well thatās a horse of another color what do you mean well I donāt like to get involved in family Affairs but if sheās trying to Buffalo you into making Susie do something she donāt want thatās
Different you mean youāll help yeah Iāll tell you how to manage that sister-in-law of yours how well you go up to her with a very sweet smile on your face and you tell her to mind her own business you say that you married a younger brother and not a busy body like
Her oh Iām sorry Mr Steve I didnāt I didnāt hear you come in obviously darling Hazel I donāt I donāt want to hear another word against my sister from you yes sir my wife and my sister get along beautifully well I I wouldnāt really okay I I I donāt ever want to
Hear of you trying to stir up any unpleasantness around here yes sir all right P pickle well Iām sorry I should have told him that you were only helping me well why didnāt you well I I just couldnāt it would seem like I was criticizing his sister oh I said it
Before and Iāll say it again Peter Piper pick a pea pick pepper how many times a week would you have to go oh Saturday afternoons and maybe one or two days after school you see there Iād rather be with mother and Hazel Susie I ask you not to
Interupt I sent my daughter when she was Susanās age and I guess I donāt have to tell you how she turned out oh a lovely girl wonderful girl well at the risk of sounding immodest Iād say that sheās one of the most refined graceful young ladies Iāve ever seen she has such
Composure and uh she wasnāt born with those things I saw to it that she acquired them donāt you have something do in the kitchen well I just wanted to make sure nobody needed nothing Miss Peterson is a personal friend of mine and uh I donāt want to go Susie if you interrupt one
More time Iāll have your father take you upstairs to bed without your dinner thatās one of the things sheāll learn not to interrupt well what do you say Barbara shall we enroll her mother please I donāt want to go just try it Susie Iāll get you that present you wanted for your birthday
Now what did you want a chemistry set a chemistry set she wants the kind that Hazel had when she was a little girl the kind that makes stink bombs yeah and if you know the formula you can make gunpowder if you havenāt an need it gunpowder oh not really gunpowder Steve
Oh no not really but it makes makes a terrific puff of smoke oh Steve a chemistry set is not for a little girl dolls for a little girl but I have lots of dolls I want a chemistry set young lady a chemistry set is quite out of the question isnāt it
Barbara Iām afraid so Susie chemistry set is out of the question excuse me thatās enough to make me blow my CB oh Iām sorry well maybe deer is right I mean Steve agrees with her well if you told him your side heād agree with you too Iām so confused right now I donāt
Know what my side is well your side is that you and Susie are having a lot of fun together and you want to go on having fun well yes we are and if she needs improving youāll improve her yes I will right now you aināt interested in
Sending her through any cause of poison charm youāre absolutely right and when you decide itās important youāll make the decision keep it up Hazel decision is going to be yours and yours alone right right and youāre going to March right in there and tell her right now
All right I will and Iām going to be right behind you I had to do it she has to learn some discipline excuse me everybody but I have something to say Barbara I have something to say darling what is it Susie and I are having a world of fun
Together and well we like things the way they are and if going to miss Petersonās school is going to change any of that well oh but my dear it wouldnāt change any of that it would only increase the fun enhance the joy of living so you put
Any idea like that right out of your head where is Susie I sent her to her room why she wouldnāt behave well I guess it had to be done it did Hazel would you take her supper back to the kitchen please yes sir Sayy I heard a very funny story the other day it seems That sh shh nice Now sh [Applause] Sh [Laughter] Oh Hi Hazel hi I just fixed this sandwich for Susie slip it in your pocket will you why well because I canāt get by your Uncle Steveās Eagle Eye and and the poor kid must be starved by now sheās gone gone gone where she left about 20
Minutes ago left for where she made me promise not to tell anybody well well did she say where she was going she had a suitcase she aināt run away she made me promise not to tell any now you tell me or sheās either going to be a parachute jumper going to show business Suy suie suie You canāt find it no and Iāve looked up and down every block around here what do you want me to go look for her what she left with her suitcase and her cat tell her mom and dad a she made me promise not to tell anybody the only
Reason I told you was because you made me well thatās what I dreaded itās telling our folks do you want me to go home and call the police oh no we got to tell our folks first oh you said she had a suitcase uhhuh about this big Uncle
Steveās big one oh well she couldnāt get very far with that she had a cat with her but the cat came home when oh I donāt know when I I left the house sheās trying to get up into the Attic no donāt wake a let us Sleep [Laughter] come on honey oh goodness Daddy Mommy I was scaming you found me oh no no Iām sorry I disobey you and mother Iāll try never to interrupt anybody again oh no honey weāll talk about that tomorrow no weāre never going to talk about that again ever come along
Honey weāll put you to bed uh Miss Thomson Miss baxa has something she wants to tell you oh what is it I do oh I mean yes I do you know Mrs Baxter is very very fond of you Miss Thompson oh how nice but she feels that when it comes to Susie she
Should be her own problem Iād rather not uh burden you with it Iād like to try and struggle along with it all by myself and she feels the same way about the the same way about the art museum group and the symphony society and she feels that
She she shouldnāt join just I donāt feel I should join just because it would help Steveās career that she can help her husband and in lots of other ways I feel there are other ways I can help Steve besides making social contacts where I donāt feel at
Home I may not be as important a woman as you are or as socially prominent but well Iād like to try and do as much for Steve as I can with the little that I do have in my own way Harry I think itās time we return to our hotel good
Night I did it you sure did I did itel I didnāt let her intimidate me I didnāt let her make me feel insignificant boy I just stood up there and I just told her just how I felt she sure did boy I was youāre proud of you now thereās nothing to be concerned
About sis may have been a bit offended but that that can be smoothed over oh I donāt know about that you should have seen the expression on her face oh sheāll get over that Iāve always let sis tell me what to do as long as I wanted
To do it it didnāt hurt me and it gave her a lot of pleasure she certainly intimidated me honey look I thought you were just going along with her the way I was why didnāt you tell me well I did want to offend you and well Hazel was the only one I
Could turn to well I held off until the subject of Susie came up Hazel you were absolutely right to encourage her to speak up Susie isnāt going to any Miss Peterson school until you want her to go this is your family and your home and uh
In my heart youāre the boss oh darling I was only agreeing with her because I thought you did I knew something was going to explode but I didnāt know who it was going to be until I let the You good morning Hazel who you talking to me not only is she talking but Iām talking and now that Iāve heard the sound of it I think I have a very nice voice it seems to me you were talking all night good morning morning sis Barbara I feel that after what
Happened last night an apology is in order I hope I didnāt offend you you by being so blunt well it wasnāt a pleasant thing to discover about oneself but if you hadnāt brought it to my attention Iād probably go right on doing it Stephen I didnāt mean to meddle in your
Marriage and try to make Barbara like me uh Harry very sweetly not unkindly showed me that often my social Ambitions are more for myself than for his business career she insisted on stopping and buying this present for Susie oh for Peteās sake aināt that Susie suie what is it come on thereās a
Present for you from Miss Thompson wow nice he yeah a present for me yeah what is it what is it I donāt know until I unwrap it well I you going to say that thank you thank you oh no itās with suie letās see oh a chemistry sh isnāt that
Wonderful thatās just what I HED youād get letās take it out in the kitchen and give it a Dr oh nothing takes me back to when I was a kid like a good old stin [Laughter] Bom [Laughter] Happ And uh how was your day I guess typical is the word for it I took back your new shirts I got a larger size thank you oh and then the plumber was here George he says we need a new water heater so I said go ahead oh something all the time
And then Harold fell off his bicycle and skin his knee poor kid boy should be born with cast iron kneecaps oh it wasnāt serious oh and then Hazelās nephew Walter phone from California oh I didnāt know she had an nephew in California oh George youāve just forgotten heās her brother Steveās boy
Steve he sends her candied fruit at Christmas oh yes yes I know well anyway Walter phone to say he was flying East today and he was looking forward to seeing her well knowing Hazel I bet sheās excited you canāt imagine so I told her he could stay
Here you what I told her he could stay in the extra room oh Dorothy you know Hazelās relatives are the EST people in the world now George we shouldnāt judge a man weāve never met well one of Hazelās relatives Iāll take a chance tell her you change your mind oh I canāt
George the planeās already landed heāll be here any minute well I guess we can suffer through one night it may be as long as a week George it depends on how long his business takes him well in that case weāre in for a nightmare now darling we
Havenāt met him yet he may be perfectly all right well I guess youāre right but remember the weaker cousin stay here the professional wrestler oh tell me that wasnāt a nightmare that was a little playful yes a little well the big ax picked me up and put me in an airplane
Spit every time I came through the house so what if heā Dro me but he didnāt George he was very strong and thatās another thing people should ask permission before they tear a phone book in half hi Mr be did you hear the good
News Well I heard the news oh boy Iām so delighted I havenāt seen him in 15 years I hope Iām safe in assuming that heās not a professional wrestler oh oh I know what you mean youāre thinking of my cousin Alfred oh boy wasnāt he something always
Clowning remember what heād do when you come in the house yes Hazel heād lift you over his head and spin you around in this airplane Sprint I remember he was laughing all the time a person just couldnāt get mad at him I think a person could well but he just
Did it to amuse Harold you know he just loved kids Alfred did fine but I want to hear about Walter oh oh well heās my brother Steveās boy you know the one that always sends me the candy fruit at Christmas that you like to eat the
Pineapple out of all right Hazel but I want to hear about Walder what does he do oh well itās kind of hard to explain cuz first he does one thing and and then he does another I guess you could call him a promoter is that a
Condor oh oh heās here heās here darling be nice to him why hael Iām waiting Iām waiting give me a big hug oh itās so good to see you you havenāt changed a bit well you sure have I havenāt seen you since you were a teenager boy that must have been 15
Years ago aināt he the best looking thing he ever saw well yeah lady I guess so oh well most pictures donāt do people Justice do they lady Iāve never seen his pictures well Iāll show you some when we get in the house and Hazel Iām sure he
Has to get back on the job he only take a second I got the family album right in the kitchen howās your mom and dad fine they send you their love oh boy I sure miss him did you have a nice flight perfect clear sky all the way I bet you
Had pretty hostesses buzzing around you like bees huh driver yes maāam sheās here here now you just take off your coat and make yourself at home there we are D you hael sit here and this is Harold I know I wrote home about him you certainly did hello Harold hello Mr bur
And then Mr and Mrs Baer and this is our Walter how do you do well how do you do this is a real pleasure Iāve heard so much about you both in fact a collection of ant Hazelās letters would provide a history of the Baxter family how do you
Do Mr Burke while youāre with us please consider our house your home a thank you Mrs baxa thatās very nice of you oh uh and what was your name St Stu Albertson oh well St my name is hael Burke and you met my nephew Walter Burke you met him
And Mr and Mrs Baxter and this is little Harold and still here want to see our photograph album lady I got to get back on the job there 420 on a meter Mr Burke oh certainly certainly I am sorry to keep you waiting oh uhoh can you change
100 100 are you kidding well I have my restaurant credit card can you charge it to that not a chance an Hazel I only have a dollar and a half in my purse I had my head done because you were coming want me to open
My py bank never mind son Iāll lend Mr Burke the $4.20 hereās a $5 bill well thank you very much Mr Baxter this is an awful way to start a relationship but do you mind if we make it five even Iād like to give
Him a little tip uh no oh OD thatās fine there you are and thank you very much thank you sir Haz put some cookies in your room and I didnāt touch one I thought you might like to nibble on them well wonderful why donāt we go up and
Get some swar I hope they oatmeal no to house well I want some oatmeal before I leave I remember them from when I was a kid well Iāll make some right after dinner Iāll show you where your room is oh thank you Harold how much did you have in your piggy B over
$10 oh Mr Burke donāt you think that suitcase is a little heavy for your aunt oh my gosh a Hazel give me that no no thatās all right I can manage it not while Iām around aināt he Terrific yes itās possible for a man not to have change but did you actually see the $100 bill no he just looked in his wallet exactly and it was probably an oh now we donāt know that what if he had taken a $100 bill out and waved it under
Our noses wouldnāt you have thought he was showing off well I well heāll be down in a minute heās upstairs watching if that aināt like a man you know what he did he forgot his razor and shaving cream well I prefer he wouldnāt use mine Hazel if thatās sugges oh no Mr
Be he wouldnāt impose like that but what I want to know is if I could phone the drugstore and have them send the things over and charge them to Mr beās account you know just till he gets changed well all right Hazel but Iād suggest you
Mention to waler that the banks open at 10:00 in the morning oh yes he was asking me about that oh Missy is it all right if Walder bars your car in the morning so he wonāt have to take the bus I suppose so well all right Iāll pH in the drug
Store oh boy that guyās a doozy and I put are allow in it every week good idea save for a rainy day in fact I wish I had had a piggy bank to shake some money out of for that cab driver well if you ever need any money while youāre here
Iāll lend it to you thank you Harold Iāll remember that what that little present I brought along for my aunt Hazel should we go downstairs and give it to her okay no thatās all Mr Casey youāre sure that the blades come with the razor oh well well
Will you send them right over and charge them to Mr baxās account bye Hazel he brought you something oh no Walter you shouldnāt have itās nothing and Hazel I remember you love them when I was a kid oh boy if these are what I think they are chocolate cover cherries oh they
Just make me drool are you going to open them oh yes Iām going to open them but everybodyās just going to get one on account of I donāt want to spoil your dinner look what wal brought me chocolate covered cherries aināt that the most thoughtful thing you ever heard
Of oh well Hazel thatās very nice only one Mr Bee no thank you I donāt care for any you donāt care for any are you sick Mr be I feel fine I just donāt care for any oh Harold thank you Hazel W well thank you ant
Hazel a delicious melt in your mouth Mr Burke uh what brings you to our city is this a vacation trip oh no no strictly business Iām after money Missy said you can have her car in the morning well thatās very generous of you Mrs back I
Had expected to rent a car well uh maybe thatās a better idea then youād both have transportation of course of course it is one of the expenses of my business Mr Burke uh Iām not quite clear uh just what is your business well Iām a promoter Mr Baxter oh I come to
Successful men such as yourself who may want to invest a few thousand Mr Burke I donāt have any money to invest he sake Mr B well thatās all right an Hazel Iām sure Mr back is just trying to set the record straight I think thatās putting it very
Well Mr Burke oh walās got lots of prospects aināt you Walder indeed I have one of them is a man named Griffin Harvey Griffin but yes well he happens to be a very important client of mine perhaps Hazel has mentioned him in her letters to you yes I believe she has
Aināt that terrific wal has given one of our old friends an opportunity now we said Hazelās letters were practically a history of the family oh I bet heās going to call on every client I have he must have a list of the wealthiest men in town itās possible all
Right the question is what shall I do now thereās no point in telling him to Simply stop and go home that wouldnāt phas a man like Walter a bit now darling it isnāt fair to say a man like Walter we have no evidence he isnāt honest and
Honorable no we have no evidence but you better count all the spoons the first thing in the morning George really well what do you think about him I have no complaint against him except for the way he treats Hazel asking her to make oatmeal cookies after sheās
Worked a full day asking her to bake muffins for dinner well she waits on him hand and foot did you know he asked her to press his suit for tomorrow no I certainly did not well he did that man is the original moocher and I calling Mr
Griffin the first thing in the morning and warn him not to have anything to do with him thatās right Mr Griffin I arrived late this afternoon tell him I said hello my aunt Hazel says hello his best to you I hope you receive the data and samples I sent you from
California oh good good naturally Iām anxious to discuss things with you and I wonder if you have any free time tomorrow 10:00 will be fine Iāll be there thank you Mr Griffin good night well Iāve got a flip in the door oh thatās terrific and that reminds me I need a
Shine oh well you just slip them off Iāll try them just as soon as I finish the soup now come on slip them off Iād love to do it all Right tell me what it is youāre working on you know I might even invest a couple 100,000 myself well I didnāt know the ant was loaded oh sure Iām a regular Fort kn and an apron come on tell me well itās a new plastic a Los Angeles chemist invented a fantastic material it
Can be molded into any shape oh you can do that with any Plastics canāt you yes but this material is acid resistant and it stands heat up to, 1500Ā° fah a plastic mhm why cooking utensils can be made out of it boy it sounds practically unbelievable well I hope Mr Griffin
Doesnāt agree with you I I wonāt raise a dime oh youāll convince him I hope so oh you know what I like for breakfast no you tell me and Iāll get it for you eggs benedict do you have the fixions oh sure we have and I wonder if I can have
Breakfast early say about 6 well I have a lot to do in the morning I have to work on my presentation and rent a car and I certainly donāt want to be late for Mr Griffin oh Iāll have your breakfast ready for you donāt you worry good letās see itās 10:30 here that
Makes it 7:30 in California do you think the boxers would mind if I made a longdistance call course good Iāll uh Iāll find out what the charges are and pay Mr The Backs to back as soon as I get some change you go right ahead oh W I canāt tell you how terrific
It is to have your own flesh and blood right here in the house morning good morning hazel good morning Hazel Hazel what time does that nephew of yours get up he canāt expect the family to tiptoe around just so he can sleep oh heās been gone for a half
An hour Mr be you didnāt even hear him did no I didnāt thatās cuz he was tiptoeing around so you wouldnāt hear him I wanted to call you so you could enjoy an early morning breakfast with him but he said no a man your aged probably needs a
Sleep casel Iām not quite seile yet a live wild like w probably gets up at 6:00 every morning you want me to call you early tomorrow morning Mr be no I donāt he sure has a terrific appetite he had two Helens of eggs benedict oh are we having eggs benedict this morning no
The ham is all gone I told you he had a terrific appetite he was talking about his project oh itās terrific if you had a little extra money Mr be I think waler might let you in on it Iām not interested in getting it on
Hazel thank you oh well a lot of people are he made some long distance calls last night on our phone thatās all right heāll settle up with you when he gets the bill changed he called Mr Griffin too Mr Griffin sure thatās who he has the appointment with at 10:00 this
Morning he hopes that Mr Griffinās going to put a lot of money in it Hazel just what is this project itās a plastic you know you can make kitchen utensils out of it even frying pans itās practically unbelievable yes isnāt it oh I donāt I donāt mean really unbelievable Mr B
Hazel plastic melts when itās heated oh but this doesnāt it heats up to 1500Ā° well thatās what waler said and heās my nephew Mr be I know Hazel and I hate to say this but I suspect your nephew is a phony oh no Mr B well now
Hazel think back the first thing he did when he came in the house he barred $5 from me well thatās because he he didnāt have anything smaller than a hundred but heās going to get it changed he said this morning when I gave him the bus
Fed he he he was going to get change he charged longdistance calls to the phone shaving things at the drugstore and made you press his suit well thatās cuz he wanted to look nice if for Mr G nothing and thatās another thing Hazel if a relative of mine tried to raise money
From friends I mentioned in my letters Iād be furious you would Mr me yes I would I would consider it most unethical how do you feel well heās my nephew what do you think we ought to do I think we ought to warn Mr Griffin of
The type of man heās dealing with I feel we owe him that but Mr B weāre only guessing you know I want to be fair to Walter too well I have some Connections in Los Angeles that could check on Waller but we just donāt have the time didnāt you
Mention they have a meeting at 10:00 oh yeah I tell you what I I could go down to Mr Griffinās office and keep him apart for a couple of hours would that give you enough time yes yes Hazel that would but what if you canāt keep them
Apart well Iāll just Iāll just have to tell Mr Griffin myself so you you call me at Mr Griffinās office if you hear something I better hurry if if Iām going to get there before water hi Jamie Hazel this is a surprise well I just happened to be in the
Neighborhood and I thought Iād drop in and say hello to Mr Griffin is anybody in there with him no not at the moment but heās expecting somebody at 10 oh swell Iāll only take a sec Mr Griffin Hazel Burke is here to see you Hazel send her in go ahead Hazel thanks
Jamie well h what brings you down this way oh you brought me some brownies how you know I smelled them I can detect the aroma of one of your brownies at 100 yards oh here they are enjoy them oh I will oh no donāt open them now they for
Your dessert oh one well all right just one Iāll eat it slowly and make it last I have a message for you from my nephew a message well Iām expecting him here any minute well uh thatās what itās all about heās going to be delayed delayed why well uh itās something about a
Telephone call from California oh well a few minutes doesnāt make any difference well it it it may be a couple of hours the things have got to be checked for a man whoās trying to get me to invest heās being pretty independent yeah well thatās the way he is so why donāt you
Buzz your secretary on the intercom and and tell her to change the time of the appointment uh heās not trying to cut me out of this is he oh no no no he wouldnāt do a thing like that why didnāt you just buzz Janie and and tell her to
Change the appointment huh if he hadnāt mentioned in his first letter that he was your nephew I never would have answered yeah why donāt you just buzzer it sounded like such a crackpot idea but I said to myself if heās her nephew at least I can be courteous enough to reply
If you just Buzzard a plastic frying pan I spoke to my research department and they just laughed plastic gets soft when itās heated how is it this thing work oh the intercom yeah oh well when I want to speak to my secretary I just that switch
Milin can I do it well of course I wouldnāt know what to say yes Mr Griffin uh this is Hazel uh Mr Griffin want you to tell Mr burck when he comes to change his appointment from 10 to 12:00 boy how am I doing just fine Asel
Oh and another thing just tell Mr brke to sit down and wait until Mr Griffin ask him to come in what sound like a real executive huh you can join my staff anytime as long as you make brownies oh if a phone call comes from
Mr Baxter for me just put it through on Mr Griffinās phone itās fun being an executive go ahead play with it no I donāt want to play anymore uh you were talking about your research Department oh yes the boys in the lab advised me to have nothing to do with it they said
Your nephew was a phony for peace sake so when I wrote him I said heād have to send me a sample of the plastic and he didnāt send it huh no he didnāt he sent me a finished frying pan youāre kidding no I got the boys to
Check it out itās an amazing material stands temperatures up to, 1500Ā° for p sake but I still wasnāt satisfied he might be your nephew but I want to know more about a man than that before I do business with him a man in my position has every con man in the
Country after him oh sure fellas without a scent in their pocket will steal somebody elseās idea and then try to get me to finance it what happens I finish up with a big lawsuit yeah so I had some investigators check him out and and and you didnāt get the report huh well
Certainly it got here thatās why I had your nephew come east what heās got a AAA rating in done in Brad street respected in his community active in the Chamber of Commerce a thriving business and heās putting $20,000 of his own money in the plastic
Now thatās the kind of a man I like to do business with Fe sake have another brownie Mr yes Mr Griffin is it is it w Burke out there he came in a few minutes ago well tell him to come right in Mr Griffinās waiting for
Him and Mr Griffinās k say it could revolutionize kitchen wear as a matter of fact he was so enthused he put up $100,000 oh thatās wonderful you know I was just thinking I could probably scrape together 5,000 or so you know that might be smart George get in on the
Ground floor well thatās how fortunes are made and a person canāt go too far wrong following Mr Griffinās lead in Investments excuse me Mr and Mrs Baxter I want to thank you for your hospitality and Say Goodbye Oh you you youāre not leaving well yes Iāve wound up all my
Business here and Iāve got to get back to California oh Iām going to hate to see him go itās been too short a stay Mr Burke we didnāt really get a chance to know you well we had a chance but I guess we muffed it well forget it I
Would have felt the same way in your shoes we are all square arenāt we uh telephone calls oh absolutely and Waller to show my confidence in you I want to put $5,000 into that plastic idea oh I am sorry Mr Baxter but there are no more shares available I bought the last $200
Worth Mr B you did and itās just as well too because you aināt in no position to be making any more Investments no well Missy heās got that big bill for fixing the roof and his insurance premium is overdue and you need a new coat and Haroldās growing out of everything to
Say nothing of my birthday coming up for Peteās sake but I will keep you in mind for my next project uh whatās that well I donāt have one at the moment I got a wonderful idea what about an oblong umbrella so two people could walk together in the rain [Applause] this has been a screen gems Film Production